there's a snake in my boot

fishingboatproceeds:

the-blog-of-anne-frank:

I just realized that “pun intended” is a pun on “unintended” and I’m literally about to gouge my eyes out I’m so angry

This. Changes. Everything.

ruralfox:

THIS IS THE MOST ADORABLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN *wheeze*

starksexual:

i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it

Captain Swan - requested by ithinkyouhaveashadow

Tagged: #captain swan #come on #tell me this isn't canon

uoa:

do you ever tell people you’ll be going to sleep but then you don’t and you have to not do anything noticable online for the sake of it seeming as if you didn’t lie to them

Do you hear the Whispermen? The Whispermen are near.

If you hear the Whispermen, then turn away your ear.

Do not hear the Whispermen, whatever else you do.

For once you’re heard the Whispermen, they’ll stop…and look at you.

lucyintheskywithducks:

perspicaciousbovril:

There’s always that one fictional character that you have such a complicated relationship with because you love them but you also know that if they were real you’d punch them in the face at least once a day